Ever since our last presidential election the words hope and change have left a bitter taste in my mouth and I cringe a little on the inside every time I hear them. But, enough said on that political front.
The odd thing is hope and change are going to be HUGE words in my upcoming life.
Change is inevitable. For once, this is a change I'm eagerly anticipating! (Not like Senior year of college winding down and the only thing staring back at you is LIFE.) My life has been quite routine and mundane the past year plus. Now taking this opportunity to serve I will notice a few differences. I will be changing my personal hygiene habits - "showering" with a bucket of water, which may or may not be hot. This sounds like a worst case scenario from blogs I've been reading of current PCVs. I may get lucky, but I'm still trying to prepare myself mentally, should I not be one of the lucky ones. Odds are I will be washing my clothes be hand...I don't even hand wash my delicates that call for it as is! I will have to change my eating habits. That Cold Stone I just had this afternoon? Nice knowin' ya scoop shop! (I'm actually not sweatin' the food issue that bad. I survived Spain after all!) Getting beyond the superficial stuff, I will have to change my perspectives and cultural identity. This also is something I'm not too terribly paranoid about either, but this time around will be A LOT longer than Spain lasted. I just read one girl's blog who was serving as a PCV in Honduras but decided to ET (early termination - PC jargon for she peaced out before her 27 months were up). It seems some things just grate on your nerves and some people do have a breaking point. I hope I don't become one of them. As I sit here on my soft bed, in my climate controlled home and tap this out on my new laptop it's easy to say, "I'll stick it out the whole 27 months." Yet, time and time again I've read that expectations in the PC are worthless and impractical. The cliché of your world turning upside down doesn't even seem to begin to cover it.
So, that leads me to hope. All I can hope for is that I will have the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical strength to endure this adventure I'm embarking upon. Nope, it won't be easy. I was just telling my mom this morning how lucky I am that I've never been robbed in ALL my travels. It seems like my luck should run out sometime soon, right? Just something I'm trying to get in the mindset of. I hope nothing will happen, but it's a very real possibility. That's life though. Aren't car accidents the #1 killer in the US? Yet, we all go out and hit the road each day, essentially putting our own lives in our hands. And so, I'm not going to rest on my laurels and watch life pass me by, day in and day out, not making a difference in anyone's life. As it is, I feel my past year has been mostly wasted because (aside from volunteering a few hours a week) I haven't done anything to better myself or other people. That should be the goal in life. Better yourself so that you can better fill the role of helping others. Sounds crazy to some, I'm sure. But with my Christian upbringing and personal beliefs of the same Christian effect, that is what I believe. Hopefully, I will be able to improve lives to the best of my capabilities during this experience and at the same time I will learn/improve life skills to make me a better person.
I feel a John Lennon lyric coming on..."You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." I look forward to joining forces with my fellow dreamers out there in the PC and as we have our worlds turned upside down, maybe we can do the same to this one here. ¿Quien sabe?
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